The following are actual statements from drivers’ insurance claim forms...

“I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”

“I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.”

“The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again”

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”

“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.”

“Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”

“I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.”

“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”

“I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”

“As I approached an intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.”

“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”

“The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.”

“I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.”

“The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.”

“The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. ”

“I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings.”

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were – Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.