Some quotes from the late, great George Carlin.

• “Think how stupid the average person is. Now, by definition, half the people are stupider than that.”
• “I love meeting a girl with a tattoo. It shows she has the capacity to do something she’ll really regret the next morning.”

“The existence of flame throwers means someone had to think “Gee I’d like to set those people on fire, but I’m just not close enough.”